(July 4, 2025) July 4, 20XX.

In a stunning reach-across-the-aisle moment, Donald Trump deploys newly-appointed Democrat senator, Chuck Schumer replacement UNION BUSTA RHYMES, to shutdown the covert joint United Steelworkers-Hip Hop Alliance meeting hosted in Zohran Mamdani's bathroom. He pulls up, "busts" in the crib, and effortlessly murks them all with his Look At Me Now verse and the bitch slap he typically only uses on his trans escorts at nightclubs. Satisfied with a job well done, he asks Siri where the cheapest halal within 20 minutes is.

Stanley Mota-Velasco, first ever (legal) Mexican immigrant ICE agent (and grandson of mining industry billionare Germán Larrea Mota-Velasco), sits in in his hummer masculinely sobbing to Chicken Fried by Zac Brown when he overhears Mr. Rhymes pulling out the ol' Jamaican accent on a group of 16 year old Women perusing some Bob Marley tees sold beside his favorite halal cart. Panicking, he pulls out his quadruple rocket launcher (3 stickers of scantily clad female League of Legends characters stuck on the side) and obliterates them all. (Allah protects the halal cart don't worry)

Trump pardons Stanley with a speech about how men like him are the epitome of the American dream, and calls the late Rhymes "a beautiful example of ba-lack excellence" before doing his fist-dance to Look At Me Now in honor of unc. When Busta's verse starts, Stan raps it perfectly, and 5 percent of the nation erupts in cheers. The act of killing UNION BUSTA RHYMES for code switching into his Jamacian accent in of itself has proven that Stanley is his only acceptable successor, the most primal pathos residing within the dark underbelly of America's collective consiousness.